Day 3 Since the Breakup

I’m over with the what if stage after I sent R the link to my entry on Questions I would have answered R. I think I’ve captured already there everything that I wanted him to know. I cried and smiled while answering those questions. I was alone at home and I cried in my room. That’s the only time I can break down, cos I don’t want momi to see me cry. It hurts me to see her worry about me. It felt good to just release everything. 

I’m still feeling quite sad about the break up. Some would say that’s nothing! It’s good that it ended early on at least you saved yourself early on as well from heartaches. But you know what, a break up is a break up, whether the relationship is short or long spanned.   

Early this morning on the way to school, I finally spoke up to momi and shared to her how it ended. It’s just comforting to hear a mother’s advice. There’s no need to be feeling at the losing end because the good thing is I learned from it, most especially from R. The things he said were awakening call for me. 

I’m thankful for the support of my closest friend at work. Her encouraging words were helpful. She’s quite surprised to see me cry to her this morning, it’s the second time in five years that we’ve known each other. She’s always seen me all smiles and full of laughter!

On second chances, well that’s not for me to give. I’m not the one who ended it. I tried to ask for it and give our relationship a try again. I wasn’t aware of the chance given to me and aparrently I failed that chance. At least now I know my short comings that’s more important. So if in case fate and destiny allow our paths to cross again, let’s see, we’re surely a different person by then, the best version of ourselves for sure. Maybe we’d still be meant to be, maybe not. No one really knows.  

I am taking a rest first from dating and yes use the time to make myself better for the next person, as R said (whether if its me/you, or someone else).