Love.Risk.Surf.Live

This morning tested my calmness, positive disposition, and generally my good vibes aura. After learning that everything here on earth is all about energy, I tried my really best to be aware of the energy I create, absorb and release. I guess there'll always be that moment when you just can't control yourself even if you want to be mindful and stay grounded. Somehow the yin and yang at work, keeping things balanced. As soon as I woke up, I checked my email and received some positive updates on something I'm working on. And just like that after breakfast, an argument with mom about, let's code it as Jetty, while sunbathing for vitamin D. Anyway Jetty consumes me and ruins my good vibes every time, the mere sight, even if I train my mind to let go and don't mind. I'm currently reading a handbook on Reiki. It's a form of healing using palm as energy is released. I want to be able to practice this on myself and to other people.

Jan 3, 2019 Vivere Salon Uptown, BGC Scheduled myself to a hair make over at Vivere Salon. It's my first time to try here. I forgot the name of my stylist thought. She's really good at doing her sales talk! Hahah. I just planned to get a haircut but then she was able to convince me to get my hair colored because there's free treatment after. Plus she convinced me to buy the volumizing hair product for my new short hair! This was my peg. I had a poll on instagram, and YES won. So it's a go for this short hair.  After the hair cut and color, momi and I had our early dinner at Uptown.

March 4, 2019 (Monday) Today I made an important decision. I've been on deep thought about it for months and I prayed to God incessantly to guide me through. I submitted my resignation letter. It's been a good 6 long years in this school and it's about time to get out of this comfort zone and explore a myriad of opportunities waiting for me. To be honest I'm scared of not having that constant income. Yes I've saved up money and prepared for this resignation, but sometimes there's just this side of me holding on to dear money. I know it's too greedy, and that we shouldn't make ourselves revolve around it. I'm actually learning to embrace uncertainty and face what's thrown at me at the moment. What's my plan?  Focus on reviewing for the IELTS. Target exam date will be on May. Whewww! Should prepare a timetable for this cos I can't afford to not get my target score. Be a full time student next semester. I'm currently on my las...

Finally got myself a new phone and now switching from android to ios! Think it was a good buy. I asked my Aunt who was in Poland to check compare the price of iPhone there. Apparently it's more expensive compared to local price here in Powermac. She has a layover in Dubai and checked out the price in dutyfree there. And yay score, plus it's tax free! The last time I bought myself a phone was 6 years ago when I was still working at NEDA and it was a Sony Ericson unit.

It's half day today in school so I made use of the free time wisely. It was a tiring one! I took the UV going to NEDA, but then I didn't realise I rode the wrong one. So I had to walk from Saint Francis to NEDA. I went to NEDA to request for my certificate of employment. The HR has a forum until Friday but the good thing is there was someone who received my request. From NEDA I walked going to SSS in Pioneer to add up my savings in Peso Fund. It's been a year I think since I last gave my contribution. Then from SSS, I walked all the way to Poveda! Now that's really far! I had the time to spare and surprisingly I enjoyed that long walk alone. Feeling accomplished after yay!

This afternoon we had a talk on this: wellbeing and mindfulness from the perspective of a registered psychologist. I feel like the talk was meant for me, as if the speaker was talking to me. I took down notes and really gave everything she said a thought. Recognise and experience the emotion- change how we think Accept the emotion Express emotions constructively-be active or write Use compassionate voice Never do these to yourself: asking the questions What if If only Why me Be present in the moment Cease to overthink Offline connections are important Do not compare Choose your influence   How to be mindful Connect-talk and listen; be there; feel connected Be active-do what you can Take notice-reminisce the simple things that give you joy Keep learning-embrace new experience Give-time, words, presence

Class suspended today due to heavy rains. To make use of the time wisely I finally fought my lazy self and went to SSS to get my UMID, Unified Multi-Purpose ID. It's a 4-1 identification card the Filipinos can use to transact with government agencies like SSS, Pagibig, PhilHealth, and GSIS. Well my purpose for getting one is so I can apply for a loan at SSS. I was number 57 when I arrived, and number 33 was being served. In 2 hours I was done with the process until ID capture. I will be getting the ID in 3 months.

August 11, 2018 Saturday Yesterday was a full day despite the rain. I braved driving to Makati even if I really hate driving there. I attended a seminar by Fortrust. It was an informative one and I got useful details I needed. It was raining when I left the seminar so my shoes were drenched too. Freezing cold in the car as I drove now to UP. I took the EDSA route and arrived around past 1pm. There were a couple of students who attended the GA. I attended because I wanted to know the new guidelines for thesis. I'm nearing that stage already surprisingly. One more semester, and I'm done with all coursework. After the meeting I went to UP Town with momi, to go check some dresses and jumpsuits I could wear for the wedding on Saturday. Apartment store have some elegant selections. I tried on a couple of them and finally found the best fit and look for me. Yay! It was still raining hard, cold wind. And a perfect dinner would be a hot ramen at Ramenagi! Yum!! I decided stay put...

Reading Thought Catalog can bring you a myriad mix of emotions, heartbreaking, sad, contented, relieved, happy, fortunate and a whole lot more. This particular article highlighted important points as if slapping me in the face to wake up! When someone decides you’re not the one for them, don’t argue with them. When someone decides you’re not the one for them, do not, I repeat, do not question yourself.   When someone decides you’re not the one for them, love yourself enough to let them go.   When someone decides you’re not the one for them, take your time to find yourself again, a self that isn’t confined within anyone’s definition of “the one,” a self that’s true, a self that’s happy.   Remember your life before them. Remember all the moments you felt so happy, so confident, so strong and it had nothing to do with them or being chosen by them at all. Everything mentioned in the article pierced my heart, and allowed me to come back into my senses...

I agreed and entertained the suggestion to go talk to a doctor. I figured it could be good to hear from a professional, help me process what transpired. Took my half day today but then unfortunately I only learned about her emergency late! So we rescheduled. Her office was at Greenbelt. I was there already so I walked around. Feeling sentimental! Passed by the chapel. We heard mass here together. Then played in my mind that day when we spent our Sunday in Greenbelt. Knelt down and prayed. I prayed for him and I prayed for myself. Feeling better each day and extremely motivated more than ever. Thankful for the people who's been extra loving to me!  I don't like driving to Makati. I'm scared. Was very dependent on google to direct me, but then uuugh my reliable phone stopped working for a while. I missed a turn and later on was driving farther my destination. Minutes later my phone worked and continued to give direction. After my heart beating fast I then arrived! So I ...

Time flies! It's the eighth month of the year. What have I done? Now I have to seriously evaluate and plan where my life will go. It freaks me out! I feel like I'm not even at par with what my parents achieved when they were my age. I know, I shouldn't be comparing my life to them or to anyone else. I just can't help it. I'm laying down my plans here to help me stay focussed and be on track. Short term goals: I've entertained the idea of going abroad to work but never really did anything about it. So today, I'm finally doing something and looking at my options on how I can do just that.   I'm giving myself a year to finish my graduate studies. (Well whichever comes first, work abroad or finish school) Learn something new. When I went to Siargao in 2015 I told myself I will enroll in Honda to do the basic ride lesson but then I got lazy, deym it's been three years! So now I'm finally doing it in preparation for my cancelled Taiwan t...

Yesterday I saw my colleague coming in late to school. Quite surprised he was late because he came from UP to enroll. All the while I thought enrollment starts today until Thursday, but no it's Monday until Wednesday only. And I filed my leave on Thurs! So I quickly informed our HR the change of my leave to today. By 1pm I was at UP already waiting for my adviser. Doc Amy wasn't around though, so Doc Manzano took over. It was a fast process for me cos I got all the subjects I enlisted for online. Completely done by 2pm. Looking forward to this semester! I'm excited to ace it. One more semester left after this one, and I'm on to thesis writing. Whew! Now I will have to keep reading so I can formulate a better topic proposal. Road to #bestthesis

My classmate from last sem really writes well, and I'm at awe with every thought provoking piece she posts on her facebook.  "Whatever you want in life, you must give up something to get it. The greater the value, the greater the sacrifice required of you. Everything has a price. There's a price to pay if you want to make things better, and a price to pay for just leaving things as they are. Nothing worthwhile ever comes easily." -Louise Licudi I've figured out things I want in my life. And I will work my ass off to get them. There's a roadmap on my mind and I know clearly how to get there. Really motivated now more than ever. Whew gotta hustle! Got no time for setbacks.  

I decided to have this "me time". I need it for me to focus on myself, focus on how to recover, focus on finding the goodness in everything, focus on appreciating the little things, focus on being mindful and being self aware. Boarded the 2:30am bus earlier to Baler, my forever happy place. It's where I find peace, calmness, and good vibes. The locals here just have that energy that uplifts me every time I walk along the beach or anywhere and they greet me with all smiles exclaiming I haven't gone back for so long, or just simply ask how I've been doing. My ever supportive and loving mother agreed that I needed this healing for myself, so without having second thoughts she booked me to a nice hotel here! Wow now that's a first. In the years I've been going here she never paid a place to stay for me. Well she knows I'm the practical type and won't splurge on a hotel, cos I normally just book at a single fan room when I solo travel here. For t...

When I got home yesterday, I checked my facebook account and received a message from a friend who I haven't seen for a long time. She said she's meeting up with another common friend at City Golf and asked me to come with. Without having second thoughts I cancelled my scheduled tutorial, changed clothes, and immediately drove going there. This reunion was so random and unplanned. We haven't seen each other for years! Uncle Moe's was our forever tambayan to get below zero beers! So it also felt reliving the good old days. Surprisingly all three of us had a breakup story to tell. I don't know maybe we were brought together again at the right timing, to uplift and console each other. I'm thankful that I've got those friends whom I can comfortably talk to even if we don't regularly see each other. But when you do meet again, as if nothing has changed, the bond and friendship remains. Surfsisters

Been reading a lot of thought catalog articles and some quotes on facebook and instagram to uplift myself. I stumbled upon this comment by Wong Rachel on Facebook that I could relate to. What if a person is unaware of their traumas and suppressed emotions to actively work on it, and only finds out during the relationship? Are you going to love that person despite all their challenges and flaws? Just thinking from a different perspective. It is not always about how a person should be and how a person should fit into our box at the moment. A relationship should be hard work and maintenance. Because no one is perfect. This is just the tip of d iceberg. The way to experiencing a better relationship with loved ones is to remember that it is not just about us. If we truly loved a person, we'd work with them, Understand them, support, encourage, and be there for one another. It is a two-way experience. Sometimes, to love, is to be selfless... I am this exact person. I am unaware...

"Yesterday I was clever so I was changing the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself." Ask WHAT instead of why... What made me cry? What was painful that I cannot accept? What have I learned from the relationship?  What do I value more after everything? What can I do to make myself a better partner? During lunch today another close married friend at work noticed me unusually quiet and sad. So I shared to her what just happened to me over the weekend. I still can't stop the tears from falling as I recall every detail of that last conversation with R. It was good to hear from someone who is married and has more experience with relationships. She said things that made me feel somehow relieved and at peace. I'm thankful for the support of friends. It is indeed at times like this you will know who you're real friends are.

I’m over with the what if stage after I sent R the link to my entry on Questions I would have answered R. I think I’ve captured already there everything that I wanted him to know. I cried and smiled while answering those questions. I was alone at home and I cried in my room. That’s the only time I can break down, cos I don’t want momi to see me cry. It hurts me to see her worry about me. It felt good to just release everything.   I’m still feeling quite sad about the break up. Some would say that’s nothing! It’s good that it ended early on at least you saved yourself early on as well from heartaches. But you know what, a break up is a break up, whether the relationship is short or long spanned.     Early this morning on the way to school, I finally spoke up to momi and shared to her how it ended. It’s just comforting to hear a mother’s advice. There’s no need to be feeling at the losing end because the good thing is I learned from it, most especially fr...

What did you think when you first met me? I thought you were a bad boy kind of guy. What do you remember most about the night/day we first met? You finishing up the bottle of beer cos I was already done drinking. And you showing me your big bike. What about our relationship makes you really happy? I’m happy that I got to know myself more and how I see relationships. I’m not happy that it had to end quick. How long did you think our relationship would last when we first started dating? I really thought this would be my last one. If you had one word to describe our relationship what would it be? Rollercoaster If you had one word to describe our love what would it be? Eternal What’s your biggest fear for this relationship? That things wont work out between us. Do you believe there’s one person you’re ‘meant’ to be with? Absolutely. I always pray for THE ONE. Do you believe in fate? destiny? Yeah I do. I think things happen for a reason and it’s fate and ...